Like many I have struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember. I never thought I was fat as a kid…until others told me I was.
When a “well-meaning” aunt mentioned she would help me work out and get rid of some of that fat. When kids in grade school so thoughtfully called me Gordy after the pig movie that was currently out at the time. Even as an adult, when people couldn’t figure out what a nice looking guy like my husband was doing with a “big girl” like me.
I did manage to lose some weight right after high school. I had my own apartment with another roommate and needed 3 part time jobs to make it work. Due to them all being part time, I rarely had a shift long enough for an actual lunch and instead got 15 minute breaks that usually consisted of me eating Wheat Thins with Squeeze Cheese and a Yoo-Hoo. I would finish at the last job of the night, go home and go on a walk until my boyfriend got off work. My night would end with sharing a bowl of popcorn while watching a movie and having a glass of OJ. Yes, I lost weight and I was feeling pretty good with how my clothes were looking on me…but then I got pregnant.
When I found out I was pregnant with my oldest, I knew I could not continue that lifestyle. I applied for a full-time position at the company that offered benefits and paid maternity leave. I started eating better for myself and my baby. However, I also fell for the trap of “You’re eating for two” and allowed myself to eat much bigger portions than I normally did. I gained quite a bit of weight. I started to lose it shortly after my son came along, but when I got pregnant with our next I again allowed myself to indulge. My biggest craving with my daughter was vanilla milkshakes, the bigger the better and at least 1 a day. As you can imagine, I gained quite a bit more weight. This time it did not come off like it did after my first.
The weight lingered, as did the bad habits.
With my last 2 pregnancies I did lose weight while pregnant because I was consciously making good decisions for our health, but I was by no means perfect. This time I fell for “You will drop the baby weight while breastfeeding”. While this is true for some, it is not always the case. I not only gained back the weight I lost with my last pregnancy, but gained even more. I was now officially the biggest I have ever been in my entire life, including pregnancies.
Over the years I have tried almost everything out there, with little success. I would start to lose and it would come right back, plus some extra. I would give up again or splurge and say just this one meal won’t break me. I have done Weight Watchers (I was most successful with that), Monavie, Atkins, calorie counting, and the list goes on. I finally decided it was time for something big! Time for something that would be a tool I could work with to get over this hump. I knew it would be hard work and a lifestyle change, but I needed the help.
A few days ago I had outpatient lap-band surgery. I walked into the clinic where the most amazingly nice nurse stayed with me until my discharge and even called me the next day to check on me. I have been sore and not able to pick up my kids. It has been hard and this is just the beginning.
My point of this whole thing, I wish I had a doula.
I have my husband here and he is amazing. He comes when I call him to help me out of a chair, makes me cream soup and then strains it, helps me roll over in bed. My daughter has been a great help putting on my compression boots and getting my meds for me. However, I am not good at asking for help. I have been trying to do so much for myself so as not to bug my husband, even though that is what he is here for, that I am causing myself to be in even more pain. I know he needs to tend to the children since I cannot and he is packing since we are moving in less than 3 weeks and I cannot lift anything over 20 pounds (and bending over is not the greatest feeling right now.)
I wish I had a post-surgical doula. A support person to be with me and help me run my house while I cannot do it on my own. My surgery was minor compared to others. Just think how much you could have used someone around to make the kids homemade meals or toss that load of laundry in the dryer. I live too far away for my family to come hang out and help that much and I just cannot bring myself to ask my friends to come over to help with light housework and entertaining my kids. My husband goes back to work in a few days, and here I will sit wishing I had a doula around.
Can’t we all think of times we could have used a professional support person?
Congratulations and good luck on this journey!
Thank you so much!
You are beautiful, mama! Recovery and adjustment will be hard, but you will get through it.
Thank you very much! Each days gets a little bit easier.