Strangers Helping Strangers

Posted on: September 4, 2015 | Misc. 

As many who live in the Midwest know when driving country roads at night, you need to watch for deer.  This is always a real fear of mine.  I have seen them many times hanging out on the side of the road.  Only once have I encountered one that came on the road*, but I was lucky enough that there was still enough sun for me to spot them from a distance and go slow and eventually stop until they passed.

It was about midnight on a Wednesday.  My kids and I were driving home on our usual route from where I teach my childbirth classes.  I prefer to avoid the construction and take country roads, it calms me.  There are very rarely other cars on these particular roads at the same time as me.

On this night, I noticed a strange flashing red light up ahead.  I have become familiar with the lights on this route and this was definitely new.  I thought briefly that it may be a tractor in the field, however as I got closer I realized it was actually 2 flashing lights.

A little white car was parked in the middle of the lane with the hazard lights on.

I am normally the kind of person who asks myself if I should pull over, but talk myself out of it. 

‘I know nothing about cars’

‘Everyone these days has cell phones’

‘I don’t want to endanger my kids’

‘What if it is a serial killer’

You get the idea.  I may read too many thrillers.

On this night, I did something out of my comfort zone.  I rolled the window down to ask if they were okay.  It wasn’t until then I noticed it appeared to be a young woman and an older woman.  She told me they think they hit a deer and now they were frightened because there car was leaking something.  I made sure she not only had a phone, but also was getting a signal (it is not the best service out there).  She was on the phone with her roadside assistance.  I again stepped out of my box and asked if she wanted me to wait with them until someone got there.

I saw her instantly relax.  She was so grateful that someone was willing to make sure they were not alone in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night.  I put the car in park, put a movie on for the kids, and climbed out to talk to them.  I helped her with the names of the roads because she had no clue where she was.  It was slightly chilly out as well.  I offered to let them sit in my car because I noticed the older woman was shivering.  She turned to ask the older woman and spoke in Chinese.  At first she had said no, but then agreed.  The older woman sat in the back with my kids, but would not close her door all the way.

It was then that I realized…I was scared to pull over and offer help, but she was frightened to accept it.

How did she know I was not a serial killer?

During the wait the younger woman and I were talking.  It turns out they were mother and daughter.  I found out she grew up in China and came here to go to college.  She had just graduated “Class of 2015!!” and got her first job … a few hours north of where the school was.  She got her first apartment near her new job.  She happened to be on her way back to campus after showing her mom her new place.  Her mom had even helped her clean it.  You could see the excitement of this new chapter pouring out of her, and I could see her mother beaming with pride.

The more we talked, the more her mother started to relax.  She asked if she could hold my kids (the little ones are 2 & 4).  The daughter was telling me how much she wished she had siblings and how lucky my kids are to have each other.  Her mom did get to hold both of my littlest kids, and she was so happy she had tears in her eyes.

She told me how much her mother loves kids and always wanted more than 1.  She is a high school chemistry teacher in China, but because of their laws she was only allowed to have one.  My heart broke for this woman.  I know the feeling in your heart of wanting more kids and not feeling quite complete.  I am lucky enough I only need to convince my husband, not the government.  I will never know her pain.  I will never know the pain of so many women all over the world who long for children and will never see it happen for them.

I am so glad I pulled over that night.  I don’t know what put me on the road at that time, but I am thankful.

I made a friend.  I was able to provide her with comfort, warmth, and a phone charger.  We did call the police at some point and they came to stay with these women until a more local truck could help them out.  They needed to get home that night because the mom was flying back home to China in the morning.  My son was impressed with the lights on the police car and I even let him get out and say hello to the officer…talk about mom of the year!

Doulas are for more than just birth support.

*A week after this, my husband was driving with myself and the kids in the van, we were hit by a deer in almost the EXACT same spot.

---