What’s In A Box?

Posted on: December 30, 2015 | Birth Stories

Christmas morning, as I sat watching my kids open gifts, I had many thoughts floating in my head.  I was excited to see their reactions to the gifts I picked out for each of them.  I was overwhelmed at the innocence and pure joy as they were surprised at things they hadn’t asked for or getting the things they did hope for.  While they only received 4 gifts each, they still were grateful and full of smiles.

One particular gift stood out to me this year.  My 4 year old son had been dreaming of getting the Stellosphere from a Disney Junior show ‘Miles from Tomorrowland’.  This and a little kitty was all he kept asking for.  I made him wait to open this gift for last.  He was already so excited because it was the biggest gift.  As he ripped into the paper, he found a box, and in the box was his dream come true.

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He pulled it out of the box, ran around the room holding it over his head, and giggling.  The thought that came to my head after that was a different one.

Outside the box is way better than inside of it.

See, he was so excited to get to this big box, but he was way more excited to get the toy out of it!  I started to compare it to myself.

I used to be in this doula box.  What I thought a doula was, what I was told I should be as a doula.  My box had me thinking I was only for clients who wanted to attempt a natural birth and if they didn’t achieve that I must not have worked hard enough or I failed them.

I took a training this fall that brought me out of my box and just like that toy, made me better.  I am a better doula.  I can now provide the non-judgmental support I had felt in my heart all along.  I never judged a client for the choices she made, but I judged myself.  I no longer do that.  I know that every woman needs to make the birth choices that are right for them.

Induction. Epidural. Medication-Free. Cesarean Section. Water Birth. Classic Position. Squatting.

It doesn’t matter what kind of birth my clients set out to have or what their end result is, they know that they are fully supported in all of their choices.  They can never disappoint me and I will never disappoint myself knowing I am providing the best possible support to each and every one of my clients.

Just like Mile’s ship has been a constant presence in our house and will never go back in its box, I also will never be back in my old box.

It is so much better thinking outside the box!

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